Thursday Track Report: Tragicomic

September 9, 2010

Fall weather is officially here, with the first post-Labor Day track workout and the cooler breezes that greeted Tom Cali, Bob Cornwall, Jim Moore, George Lesieutre, Lance Bland, Mark Fedkin, Jonathan Thurley, Marv Hall, newcomer Rick Stehouwer, Esther Prins, Michael Goldfine, Joel Niemann, Kevin Becker, Jon Oatley, Matt Degges, Rich Harter, Matt Soccio, Dana Todd, and Marty Mazur as they headed to the track. John Domico followed their scent (usually no problem with Cali in the lead) arriving a little later.

Esther Prins was heaven sent, by herself keeping Bwana from renaming the Thursday Track Crew the He-Man Woman Hater's Club. Today's Girl in the Clubhouse is the only gal who has graced the track with her presence in the last three weeks. The other ladies are "withholding", but unlike Lysistrata and her sisters in Aristophanes's comedy, they're only hurting themselves, and their Tussey teammates.

Bwana isn't done with The Classics. In fact, he gave one, a classic workout, the Fortitude Workout: 4X(400-200). A great warm-up to a Tussey Discovery Run.

Bwana recommends deep reading of the Classics for some of his Crew who have been lax of late. Lee Culver, the valiant warrior, is looking to re-enact the demise of Agamemnon if he stays Homer so much from the track. But if he ventures out, he's sure not to run into Mark Traband's Trojan horses, since no one has seen Mark in weeks. Ron Cunfer's Achilles' Heel at the mOUnTaiNBACK will prove to be his lack of training. And the other gals who haven't been showing up? They're setting themselves up for a tragedy of Sophoclean proportions, I mean a real *mother* of a problem, at mOUnTaiNBACK!

Thursday Track Report: Schwifft and Schweddy

September 2, 2010

It was maybe the last of the summer's heat waves, and the girls were all indoors suffering from the vapors. But the guys schwedded it all out as they headed down to the track. Today's Man-Crew consisted of John Domico, Tom Cali, Lance Bland, Bob Cornwall, Costas Maranas, George Lesieutre, Kevin Becker, Jonathan Thurley, Michael Goldfine, Dana Todd, Jim Laudermilch, Jonathan Oatley, Joel Niemann, Matt Degges, Rob Peterson, and Marty Mazur.

Bwana doesn't like raising the level on a hot day to where he'd need and EMS standby. But the Crew is all in tune with their mOUnTaiNBACK training. So Bwana gave the dreaded 200s on the minute. Now, he explained how it was 200s on the minute back in those halcyon days when we were all young, and how no one should feel any less of HIMself if HE scaled it back to 200s on the 65, especially on such a hot day. That's all Jon Thurley needed to know to feel like he could lead the A-Team on every 60-second set, at least for the first 150 meters. I'm getting more and more glad that he's on my mOUnTaiNBACK team. Again, Team Aydin had the best showing at the track, with 4 of 7. And that's with two team members out of town.

The girls have had pretty lousy showings the last two weeks. Yeah, Schoolgirl Meira has made sacrifices to keep her Queendom, doing Hills on Monday. And she was at the Discovery Run this evening. But yesterday's Hill Queen Tara Murray hasn't figured out how to finagle a way in to town even once in the 6 weeks she's been out in Bellefonte. And Sherry Tirko was looking pretty darn droopy shuffling up the Big Hill on Leg 4 tonight. Besides them, what other females were at EITHER the track or the Discovery Run? Girls, step it up! Get schweddy!

Thursday Track Report: Math Homework

August 19, 2010

It was warm and sunny as John Domico, Tom Cali, Bob Cornwall, Judd Michael, Lance Bland, Jim Moore, Costas Maranas, John Sheakoski, Andrew Webb, Randy Jepson, George Lesieutre, Kevin Becker, Jonathan Thurley, Dave DeGroote, Rob Peterson, Matt Degges, Rob Shaver, Jim Laudermilch, Matt Soccio and Marty Mazur headed for the track. A stag crew. Are the girls boycotting because there are no female DCR Captains this year? Hey, I voted for Meira!

Bwana had the Crew do the algebra workout: NX3X300, where N is determined by a complicated formula involving the heat, phase of the moon, and whether you're running a two-a-day by heading to the Tussey Training Run in the evening. It seemed like many runners solved the equation with N=2, rather than the suggested 3 or 4. Hey, even for those who ended up going to Tussey: Wrong Answer! Strong Two-a-Days will help your mOUnTaiNBACK. And here's an inside tip: there is no restriction that N be an integer. If you're feeling halfway there, do N=2 and throw in a couple more 300s. You could even go transcendental and make N=e or N=pi You'd just need to know where the line on the track is for those.

Well, judging by today's turnout, it's obvious girls aren't good at math. But that's OK. Meira will make a great English teacher, as witnessed by her hysterical Hill Reports. Ron Cunfer is OK at math as long as it's binary. But he's been scoring a lot of zeros lately at the track. Lee Culver's strong suite is hexadecimal, or "hex", like the jinx he'll put on his mOUnTaiNBACK team this year. Joel Niemann ran Tussey instead of the Track, so since he did half a two-a-day, his N is 1/2. And Ken Davis is working on his fractions. He hopes to get better than his current half-assed mOUnTaiNBACK trash talking!

Thursday Track Report: Peacock Strut

August 26, 2010

It was a pleasant, late summer day as Jim Myers, John Domico, Costas Maranas, Lance Bland, John Sheakoski, Tom Hilands, Michael Goldfine, Adam Smith, Rob Shaver, Dana Todd, Jim Laudermilch, Jon Oatley, Beth Herndon, Nick Downs, Kevin Becker, Joel Niemann, Jonathan Thurley, and Marty Mazur headed down to Track Hollow. The first Thursday Track after the DCR Draft has evolved over the years into a kind of Peacock Strut. Guys and gals wear their "vintage" DCR team shirts, and now that they know the teams, start some early trash talking. Today it was particularly peacocky: only one girl was at the track, and she isn't in this year's Draft!

And people get down to business. For some, once-a-week two-a-days started last week, even before the Draft, with the start of the Tussey Discovery Series training runs. It would be interesting to catalog how teams whose members did the most two-a-days fared in the DCR over the years. One thing is certain: Tim Aydin's team, "Six Jacks, One Jill, and a Whole Lotta Hills", had by far the best attendance at today's track workout. Five of the seven team members were there, and the only reason it was only five was because two of the team live out of town!

Bwana gave the Crew a longer pace workout challenge: 800-1200-800, do the 1200 at the pace of the first 800, and try to get the last 800 done faster. A good "chugging" workout that'll pay dividends when chugging along on your second Leg of the mOUnTaiNBACK.

Bwana is pretty sure there was some chugging going on elsewhere, since attendance was a little light today. It will no doubt be reflected in the team standings that Tom Cali's team had ZERO attendance. Well, I take that back. Michael Goldfine, for some reason known only to him, proudly sported his pink "Holy Canoli" team shirt from Cali's losing team of last year. Bwana overheard Ron Cunfer at work planning some after-work Nancy-boy prance around the golf course with Lee Culver. Jim Myers, their team's only attending member at the track, will be just as frustrated as he's been every other year. Also scoring Big Fat Zeros were Team Shekinah and Team Petrarca. (Resting on your laurels, Matt?) Represented by one lousy member were Teams Moore and Effrig. Having half a shot, with scattershot attendance, were Teams Domico, Maranas and Mengle. No wonder Beth Herndon has vowed that she and Lauren Phillbrick will be in the Draft next year. They must think it'll be easy pickin's going against such slackers!

Thursday Track Report: I Can See Clearly

August 12, 2010

It was gray and murky as Jim Myers, John Domico, Tom Cali, Lance Bland, Judd Michael, Costas Maranas, Jim Moore, Bob Cornwall, George Lesieutre, Marty Klanchar, Andrew Webb, Nick Downs, Tim Aydin, Mark Lee, Jonathan Thurley, Kevin Becker, Rob Peterson, Jon Oatley, newcomer Matt Degges, Martha Nelson, Ann Skulas-Ray, Kathy Koetje-Simin, Mark Traband, Michael Goldfine, Matt Soccio, Dana Todd, Dave DeGroote, Adam Smith, Joel Niemann, Lee Culver, and Marty Mazur headed for the track. But it was definitely better than running in the hazy heat of the last few days.

Bwana no doubt astounded newcomer Matt Degges (and will continue to do so, right people?). Matt was wearing an Arkansas Razorback shirt, for which he received muffled boos. But Bwana saved the day for him by noting to all that today is former Arkansas Governor Dale Bumpers birthday, and Matt was just trying to show his home-state respects. Is Bwana clairvoyant? Watch and learn, grasshoppers. It might have been the candles Bwana lit to St. Claire, patroness of clear sight (and of television). Her Feast was yesterday.

Bwana gave a crystal clear workout as the sky darkened more: 3X1000. Bwana, who biked to the track using still-healing hammies, watched in amazement as everyone turned in stellar workouts in a steady rain!

Butt (speaking of hamstrings), despite a big crowd running over hill and dale to get to the track, there was also a bumper crop of people sitting on theirs. Shall Bwana use his clairvoyant powers to see where they were? Ann Marie Oldani was lighting candles to St. Anthony, Patron of Lost Causes, as she tried to dream up believable excuses for both her and Janet Jonson. Ron Cunfer was sitting, staring at his terminal at work as if it were some kind of crystal ball. "Michele" Weyandt was wondering how s/he can get on Bwana's good side for missing track. S/he's relying on 3/4 of a hill workout and organizing a happy hour. Bwana will take a beer with that and call it even. Randy Jepson was observing Bwana's limits on the number of bald guys allowed on the track. The trouble is, those limits only apply on sunny days. And John Sheakoski was auditioning belly dancers at Zeno's!