Thursday Track Report: Swamp Babes

A swampy heaviness hung in the air as John Domico, Jim Moore, Lance Bland, Marty Klanchar, Steve Williams, Greg Luna, John Sheakoski, Mike Casper, Tara Murray, Meira Minard, Ann Skulas-Ray, Jessica Charles Wekke, Ed, Sam, and Tommy Thompson, Mark Fedkin, Jamie Volkert, Dave DeGroote, Ron Cunfer, Rob Shaver, Lee Culver, newcomer Kyle, Dean Lapp, John Wilcock, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

At first, there was only Tara, clad in a light green moss, and rasping heavily, caked in the juice of forest ferns. And Bwana noticed Jessica, with tropical fronds dangling from her as she shambled along. Bwana was suspicious of the mildewy odor, but made nothing of it as he gave out the workout: 4X800 run in pairs with a partner for 1 lap, "to keep you honest". But as the workout progressed, more of these strange female critters that we don't see too much of at the track appeared, zombie-like, shuffling and moaning as they clomped around the track. The scary thing was that, just like in the movies, these limping, wheezing halflings kept catching the rest of us!

There were quite a number of zombies missing from the Monster Mash. Tom "Gimpzilla" Cali was working on making his eyeballs look independently across a barroom in two different directions. Michael Goldfinger was cleaning the nozzle on his spray gun. Tom "Keyboardface" Hilands headed off for a pre-nap limp around the golf course. Cheryl "Shambling Mound" Capone was working on her splorping sounds. Costas "Cthulhu" Maranas was counting his tentacles. And Greg the Wookie of a Dillion Follicles was in for his annual delousing.

Thursday Track Report: Picking On The Girls

It was drab and cool, a continuation of our relapse into early Spring after the heat wave of a few weeks ago, as Lance Bland, Jim Moore, Bob Cornwall, Greg Dillon, John Sheakoski, Nick Downs, Costas Maranas, Frank Zaffino, Meira Minard, John Wilcock, Rob Shaver, Mark Lee, Jeremy Zerbe, Michael Goldfine, Mark Traband, Dana Todd, Jonathan Thurley, Dave Degroote, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

It was our annual trip to the High School track, due to Special Olympics at the PSU track. Meira was quite late, but she got full credit for being the water-carrier for all the gals. She asked what we were doing. The workout was 12X200 3-person relays, a really tough workout. Bwana said, "Meira, why don't you just pick somebody on a team to run tandem with." And she picked on poor Frank Z. Nearly killed him.

Since Meira picked on Frank today, it's time to pick on the rest of the girls. Meira still had about 8 to go as we all left, but it looked like she was still gonna do 'em all. The other gals with whom she is in hot contention for the NVRC Race Series Cup will be eating her dust at upcoming races. They probably had better things to do, like eating lunch at Chili's. And so did the rest of the gals. Tara Murray, Stephanie Serriere, and Morgan Wasikonis were last seen waddling around after eating birthday cake yesterday for Morgan's 40th.

Thursday Track Report: All About Consistency

The sun was out and the temperatures were slowly creeping up to Memorial Day weekend levels as Jim Myers, Bob Cornwall, Greg Dillon, John Sheakoski, George Lesieutre, Greg Luna, Costas Maranas, Nick Downs, Judd Michael, Lance Bland, Meira Minard, Frank Zaffino, Jamie Volkert, Mark Fedkin, Dana Todd, Mark Lee, Shawn Kelly, Dave Miller, Michael Goldfine, Jeremy Zerbe, Dave DeGroote, Rob Shaver, Mark Traband, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

It looks like it'll be a great Memorial Day weekend, and several Trackers are planning run one or more of the three local races this weekend. They'll have the choice of either the Black Moshannon 5K or 10K, or the Boalsburg Memorial Day Run (3.8 miles). To give them a boost, Bwana had them run NX3X300, with N=3 or 4 and minimal (100m) rest between each 300 in a set. It's tough to keep up a consistent, fast pace through the whole workout of 9 or 12 of those runs.

It's hard to keep up a fast pace at anything unless you're consistent. Suffering from a sorry inconsistency is Marv Hall, who is falling behind even his own anemic attendance rate for the year. Sam and Ed Thompson, who between the two are sort of consistent, forgot to check with each other about which of the brothers was doing the workout this week, so neither was there. Ron Cunfer is consistent: consistently not there at the track. Julie Grubb has a problem with consistency. Hers is probably that of overcooked oatmeal right now. And Tara Murray didn't work hard enough on her hill repeats on Tuesday to scare off a cold. I don't want to think about the consistency of her post-nasal drip.

Thursday Track Report: Suspicious Activity

It was drab and humid, suspiciously like late-summer mOUnTaiNBACK training weather, just a few degrees cooler, as John Domico, Jim Moore, Lance Bland, Judd Michael, Marty Klanchar, Greg Luna, Nick Downs, Mark Fedkin, Frank Zaffino, Jeremy Zerbe, Rich Harter, newcomers Luke Watson and Steve Williams, Cheryl Capone, Meira Minard, John Wilcock, Mark Lee, Ron Cunfer, Lee Culver, Rob Shaver, Dana Todd, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

There was a lot of suspicious activity at the track today. Even before we headed down, a band of renegades tried to shanghai newcomer Steve Williams into one of their shameless, unauthorized, non-track runs. But Steve somehow escaped his shackles and retained his manhood. On the way down to the track, the topic of conversation was mOUnTaiNBACK strategy (already!). And when we got there, we saw that Cheryl Capone was making her first Thursday Track appearance in some time. And who else was there? Cheryl's ringer from last year's mOUnTaiNBACK, Luke Watson. Coincidence? Bwana thinks not. The only question was, where was Myers? Bwana called out the Sandbagger Ladder: 200-400-600-800-1K, all at the same pace. It's tough to pick the pace for the 200 that you can keep going through to the 1K. Luke was a good sport as we teased him about being a track newbie. Then he proceeded to school the Crew.

Speaking of school, it's detention for the Thursday Renegades, particularly master-instigators Tom Hilands and Ken Davis and their young side-kick Dave Moore. Bwana's gonna have to lay down some B*tch-Slap Voodoo on them, if he can ever catch them!

Thursday Track Report: No Ifs, Ands, or Butts!

The sky looked like it might open up the sluices again, with dark, low hanging clouds, as John Domico, Jim Myers, Tom Cali, Ken Davis, Lance Bland, Marty Klanchar, Jim Moore, Mark Fedkin, Tara Murray, Meira Minard, Costas Maranas, Shawn Kelly, Greg Luna, Mark Lee, John Sheakoski, Michael Goldfine, Dana Todd, Mark Traband, Dave DeGroote, Jeremy Zerbe, Rob Shaver, Dave Miller, Lee Culver, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

After Bwana regaled the crew with "tails" of his colonoscopy, he gave them a case of the runs. The workout: 4X(400-200) where you run a 400 hard, take a short (100m) rest, and run your 200 even harder. Bwana gave them a swift kick in the *ss and said it was "Devil take the hindmost".

Some of the crew really have to get their sh*t together, no ifs ands, or butts. Bwana has a few probing questions for the likes of John Pringle, Frank Zaffino, and Bob Jones. Sherry Tirko seems to have fallen behind in her running, though Bwana saw her bumming around with her soccer pals. Sherry, there is nothing you can do in loo of a track workout. Judd Michael's running has come to a complete stall. Ron Cunfer wasn't looking too flush the last time I saw him running. In fact, he looked like cr*p! And "Diaper Dave" Moore could sure use some more motivation. And some Desitin!