August 17, 2010
It was a bright, sun-shiney day as a nicely-clad group of runners (no split-legs or spandex today), including Jonathan Thurley, Costas Maranas, Tom Cali, Rob Shaver, Jim Moore, Randy Jepson, Bob Cornwall, and Ken Davis headed out in search of the Hidden Hills of Howmuchfurther. Along the way we ran into Sir Lancelot Bland, whose red shorts hinted of hotpants*, but perhaps they were just serving some sort of rehabilitative purpose. The juvenile crew wasted a lot of oxygen on the way over harassing me about how long it was taking to get there, and complaining about every slight rise in the sidewalk, etc.... and I almost threatened to turn the pack around....until I realized that I would be giving them exactly what they wanted. So I channeled my road rage (made even more fearsome by my cranky knee) into herding the group straight to hill (i think i might have nipped at Thurley's heels in the process. And also pushed him into traffic. He'll be sub-20 minute in no time). I would like to point out that we arrived at the corner of Easterly and University at exactly 12:28pm, as promised. Mighty Joel Niemann was there to meet us (he eats hill for breakfast.) Together, we left our comfortable suburban surroundings behind and ventured into un-paved, un-landscaped territory.
After many twists and turns and attacks from man-eating roots, we arrived at the middle of nowhere to find not one, but two hills awaiting our lumbering footsteps. Hill #1 was a semi-civilized gravel/dirt path with a moderate incline...until the last twenty yards or so, which produced some great WTF expressions on people's faces the first time up. After coasting back down Hill #1, we took a side path over to Hill #2. The path was sufficiently long enough for Calidonna to school us on his patented "Mini-Burst" pick-ups, although with each series of repeats the Bursts became harder and harder to detect. Hill #2 was more of an earthy, toe-digging, kind where we had to carve a path from the hillside ourselves. My kind of climb!!! We (and I use that term very loosely) did the two-hill circuit three times. Then, a native guide appeared to lead us back to civilization--and Five Guys Burgers. And, despite my crankiness and the fact that I forced everyone to eat hill, I was delivered to the doorstep of my building by a nicely appointed male-escort service of three!
Thanks all--see you next MONDAY!
*Categorized as "short shorts", they commonly have an inseam length of two inches or less. These are short, tight shorts, usually made of cotton, nylon, or some other common material. They are meant to emphasize the buttocks and the legs. Launched by fashion designer Mary Quant during the "Swinging London" scene of the mid 1960s, hot pants were very popular up to the early 1970s. During this time the Philadelphia Phillies baseball team created a unit of usherettes called the Hot Pants Patrol, who wore all-in-one garments incorporating hot-pants.