August 3, 2010
It was a perfect hill day--hot and oppressively humid--as a foolhardy group consisting of Jonathan Thurley, Randy Jepson, Martha Nelson, Tom Cali, Mike Weyandt, Joel Niemann, John Sheakoski, Michael Goldfine, Dave Mengle (fresh blood!) and Dave DeGroote set out for Sunset Park, blissfully ignorant of the horrors that lay in store. Their first clue should have been the fact that no other victims greeted them when they arrived at the site of their suffering. Well, that's not entirely true; Bob Chandler was already there, but from the way he was abusing the hill he could hardly be called a victim.
As we began the first see of the saw we had the usual dispute over where the hill ended. I told everyone to just head for the light--meaning the lighthouse lawn ornament (not the "light" house, as a certain literalist thought.). The day's big (well, actually little) discovery was a mini-Joe-pa perched on the deck of the lighthouse, which made Calidonna feel quite big. After suffering through two rounds of the jigsaw, I mean see-saw, and bathing in gratuitous amounts of our own lactic acid, we decided we needed to escape from our hell hole. All we needed to do was grab Meira's keys and....well, you know how this story goes. Yesterday's key adventure included a high speed car chase and some CSI work. Special thanks to key contributors Michael Goldfine (my stunt-driver), and Mark Lee and Mikey Weyandt (who manned the search party). Little did my minions know that this was all an elaborately designed test to see who would earn the coveted role of Hill King for next week. And the winner of the Keys to the Hilldom? None other than Mikey W--who saved my keys and got me home in time to take my kids to Park Forest Pool. My hero!!!! Plus, he got to run several extra hills in the process (major bonus!!)
My only regret so far as Hill Queen? Although several runners "saw the light" yesterday, not a single masochistic soul in the group has been so filled with the Hill Spirit that they yell "I LOVE HILLS" during one of my workouts.
I guess that conversion only happens to a very special chosen few.....