Thursday Track Report: Suspicious Activity

It was drab and humid, suspiciously like late-summer mOUnTaiNBACK training weather, just a few degrees cooler, as John Domico, Jim Moore, Lance Bland, Judd Michael, Marty Klanchar, Greg Luna, Nick Downs, Mark Fedkin, Frank Zaffino, Jeremy Zerbe, Rich Harter, newcomers Luke Watson and Steve Williams, Cheryl Capone, Meira Minard, John Wilcock, Mark Lee, Ron Cunfer, Lee Culver, Rob Shaver, Dana Todd, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

There was a lot of suspicious activity at the track today. Even before we headed down, a band of renegades tried to shanghai newcomer Steve Williams into one of their shameless, unauthorized, non-track runs. But Steve somehow escaped his shackles and retained his manhood. On the way down to the track, the topic of conversation was mOUnTaiNBACK strategy (already!). And when we got there, we saw that Cheryl Capone was making her first Thursday Track appearance in some time. And who else was there? Cheryl's ringer from last year's mOUnTaiNBACK, Luke Watson. Coincidence? Bwana thinks not. The only question was, where was Myers? Bwana called out the Sandbagger Ladder: 200-400-600-800-1K, all at the same pace. It's tough to pick the pace for the 200 that you can keep going through to the 1K. Luke was a good sport as we teased him about being a track newbie. Then he proceeded to school the Crew.

Speaking of school, it's detention for the Thursday Renegades, particularly master-instigators Tom Hilands and Ken Davis and their young side-kick Dave Moore. Bwana's gonna have to lay down some B*tch-Slap Voodoo on them, if he can ever catch them!

Thursday Track Report: All About Consistency

The sun was out and the temperatures were slowly creeping up to Memorial Day weekend levels as Jim Myers, Bob Cornwall, Greg Dillon, John Sheakoski, George Lesieutre, Greg Luna, Costas Maranas, Nick Downs, Judd Michael, Lance Bland, Meira Minard, Frank Zaffino, Jamie Volkert, Mark Fedkin, Dana Todd, Mark Lee, Shawn Kelly, Dave Miller, Michael Goldfine, Jeremy Zerbe, Dave DeGroote, Rob Shaver, Mark Traband, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

It looks like it'll be a great Memorial Day weekend, and several Trackers are planning run one or more of the three local races this weekend. They'll have the choice of either the Black Moshannon 5K or 10K, or the Boalsburg Memorial Day Run (3.8 miles). To give them a boost, Bwana had them run NX3X300, with N=3 or 4 and minimal (100m) rest between each 300 in a set. It's tough to keep up a consistent, fast pace through the whole workout of 9 or 12 of those runs.

It's hard to keep up a fast pace at anything unless you're consistent. Suffering from a sorry inconsistency is Marv Hall, who is falling behind even his own anemic attendance rate for the year. Sam and Ed Thompson, who between the two are sort of consistent, forgot to check with each other about which of the brothers was doing the workout this week, so neither was there. Ron Cunfer is consistent: consistently not there at the track. Julie Grubb has a problem with consistency. Hers is probably that of overcooked oatmeal right now. And Tara Murray didn't work hard enough on her hill repeats on Tuesday to scare off a cold. I don't want to think about the consistency of her post-nasal drip.

Thursday Track Report: Have Another Hit of Sweet Air

The ground was soggy and squishy from all the recent rain as John Domico, Jim Myers, Lance Bland, Jim Moore, Ken Davis, Marty Klanchar, John Sheakoski, Frank Zaffino, Dana Todd, Greg Luna, Jamie Volkert, Lee Culver, Andrew Cunningham, John Wilcock, Mark Lee, Ron Cunfer, Ed and Sam Thompson, Jeremy Zerbe, Rich Harter, Paula Jech, and Marty Mazur headed for the track. But the sun gave some small hints that it still existed behind the clouds.

Several of the recent marathoners were recovering from their exertions. Marty Klanchar, who has run 2 marathons in the last few weeks, limped along the outside lane. And a couple more trackers plan to run the Pocono Marathon later this month, so were doing a pace workout in the outside lane. And Andy Cunningham is recovering from his own (and his wife's) exertions. Andy is the proud Papa of Kale Andrew. He ran pretty well on a lack of sleep! Given that and the fact that several of the trackers were planning to  run the Sidewinder 10K on Saturday, Bwana gave out an easy downward ladder, 1K-800-600-400-200.

Bwana's going to be blunt about this. Despite the fact that it was pretty much an easy, roll-yer-own workout, several of the crew were doing a different number. Tara Murray was listening to her Doobie Brothers best-of while fumbling around for a little pipe. Mark Traband was reaming the tar out of his hookah with some horse laxative. Tom Hilands was listening to his secret stash of Dead concert tapes while eating some awesome brownies. And Andrew Webb was hurrying to get on board a plane to Holland so he could hit the legal head shop before closing time!

Thursday Track Report: No Ifs, Ands, or Butts!

The sky looked like it might open up the sluices again, with dark, low hanging clouds, as John Domico, Jim Myers, Tom Cali, Ken Davis, Lance Bland, Marty Klanchar, Jim Moore, Mark Fedkin, Tara Murray, Meira Minard, Costas Maranas, Shawn Kelly, Greg Luna, Mark Lee, John Sheakoski, Michael Goldfine, Dana Todd, Mark Traband, Dave DeGroote, Jeremy Zerbe, Rob Shaver, Dave Miller, Lee Culver, and Marty Mazur headed for the track.

After Bwana regaled the crew with "tails" of his colonoscopy, he gave them a case of the runs. The workout: 4X(400-200) where you run a 400 hard, take a short (100m) rest, and run your 200 even harder. Bwana gave them a swift kick in the *ss and said it was "Devil take the hindmost".

Some of the crew really have to get their sh*t together, no ifs ands, or butts. Bwana has a few probing questions for the likes of John Pringle, Frank Zaffino, and Bob Jones. Sherry Tirko seems to have fallen behind in her running, though Bwana saw her bumming around with her soccer pals. Sherry, there is nothing you can do in loo of a track workout. Judd Michael's running has come to a complete stall. Ron Cunfer wasn't looking too flush the last time I saw him running. In fact, he looked like cr*p! And "Diaper Dave" Moore could sure use some more motivation. And some Desitin!

Thursday Track Report: Barbarians at the Track!

A cold wind blew from the steppe as Bob Jones, John Domico, Jim Moore, Bob Cornwall, Lance Bland, Greg Dillon, Marty Klanchar, John Sheakoski, Greg Luna, Mark Lee, Costas Maranas, Mark Fedkin, Tim Spigelmyer, Shawn Kelly, John Wilcock, Dana Todd, Meira Minard, Mark Traband, Lee Culver, Dave Miller, Jeremy Zerbe, newcomer Rich Harter, Ed and Sam Thompson, and Marty Mazur, Attila the Hun, Tamerlane, Hannibal and a herd of elephants, Genghis, Kublai, and Chaka Khan, Vlad the Impaler, Larry the Cable Guy, and a horde of other barbarians stormed down onto the track.

Bwana emerged from his stately yurt to give the decree: 2-person relays with 6X400 for each person, last place team to get drawn and quartered and their heads placed on a pike at the entrance to the track. Needless to say, no one was last.

Several of Bwana's Golden Horde were taking a spa day from being barbarians. Volkert the Not-So-Nice was scolding his paper boy for knocking over some of his tulips with an errant toss. Casper the Gasper was hyperventilating at the prospect of his upcoming dental appointment. Tara the Librarian was working on her fearsome Dewey Decimal System tattoo. And Goldfine the Scourge of Lemont was writing a absolutely scathing review of an overhopped pale ale for Beer Advocate.